


What A Damn Mess We're Making Of Things

by Aeternalum



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Depression, Edmonton Oilers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Non-Canon Events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 03:51:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21487897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeternalum/pseuds/Aeternalum
Summary: Connor is nowhere to be found, and the keys to their shared car is on Leon’s seat. Side-eyeing his stall, it’s completely empty- no suit, no uniform, no equipment, nothing. Leon hurriedly finishes up and chucks his own things into his dufflebag and into the car before searching all throughout Rogers Place for his boyfriend. No one’s seen him. Not staff. Not teammates. Not even fans.
Relationships: Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	What A Damn Mess We're Making Of Things

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: If you found this by googling yourself or someone you know, LEAVE NOW. This is purely fiction and not meant to represent the individuals depicted.  
~  
Title is a quote from one of the RDR2 trailers.

The infamous ring of the crossbar just marked the end of the Oilers’ season, as the opposing team had just broken the 3-3 tie with seconds left in the third period to win the game. Edmonton had fallen short nineteen games to earn a place in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. As the team wearily drudges their way into the locker room, the coaching staff and management give out a highly copy-paste speech to the players, knowing full well that they’ll be fired and replaced during the off-season.

Everyone stays almost entirely silent while they change out of their gear and into their everyday clothes before grabbing their belongings. Leon goes to freshen up in the bathroom, dousing his hair and sweat-glistened face with water before drying it off. By the time he walks back over to his stall, Connor is nowhere to be found, and the keys to their shared car is on Leon’s seat. Side-eyeing his stall, it’s completely empty- no suit, no uniform, no equipment, nothing. Leon hurriedly finishes up and chucks his own things into his dufflebag and into the car before searching all throughout Rogers Place for his boyfriend. No one’s seen him. Not staff. Not teammates. Not even fans. Clearly this is going nowhere. He decides to check their shared apartment, it’s not much of a guarantee but it's a start nonetheless.

Having left later than usual, Leon was stuck waiting in traffic. During which time he calls and texts Connor multiple times, all of which were unanswered and unread. The wait becoming unbearable with him effectively missing in action and no one around even knows anything, let alone see him walk out the door. Becoming frustrated with the traffic, Leon cuts across the road at the first opportunity and takes a longer, but less frequented route. It works out well, as when he arrives he can still see the cars backed up from the hill their apartment bloc is situated.

Grabbing his things and going up to the apartment, the door to their unit is relatively difficult to get open. When he finally manages to pry it open after shoving it through with his shoulder, he notices it was Connor’s dufflebag on the floor slightly blocking the doorway, of which has promptly spilled various hockey equipment across the floor. Searching the suite, he’s not there either; but he was relatively recently. His stick and suit thrown onto the bed, his jersey ripped all the way down the middle on a pile on the floor, and his phone hanging from the charging cord off the side of his night-stand. Waking the phone screen a magnitude of notifications light up the screen from various teammates texting him asking where he was and if he was okay, and the nine ones from Leon from when he was driving back. There’s no indication as to where he went, so it’s pointless for Leon to run around Edmonton all night on a wild goose chase.

He goes about cleaning up the various messes to keep his mind off it, tossing the equipment that can be washed into the laundry, throwing away the destroyed uniform, and putting their bags into the closet. Not realizing how quickly he’d finish, he opts to turn on the TV to something to hopefully distract him. It doesn’t help as his mind is flooded with concern and every 'what if' he can think of as the time passes. It’s now 11PM. _“11PM. I’m not waiting for him anymore.”_ Just as he’s about to leave his phone rings; it’s Klef.

“Leon?”

“Yeah?”

“I found Connor, he just walked past my condo. I uh, yelled at him from the veranda but he didn’t respond, he just kept walking. Although he might have had his iPod and headphones in under his hoodie, I couldn't really tell.”

“Alright I’m on my way,” Drai quickly responds, rushing down the stairwell back to the car.

He shuffles into the drivers seat ready to drive the max speed limit down to Klef’s, but it starts raining. _Scheiß!_ Instead he drives slow enough to not just hydroplane straight off the road in the process. By the time he gets there, Klef is waiting outside leaning against the wall of his building under an overhead veranda.

“He’s across the street at the diner over there,” Klef mentions, motioning over at the building across from him on the corner of the intersection as Leon gets out of the car.

Entering the diner the waitress immediately recognizes who Leon is and probably realizes what he’s looking for- or more accurately who. She silently points over to an occupied table in the corner before going back into the kitchen. Leon places his hand on Connor’s shoulder before sitting down beside him.

“Connor?”

“What are you doing out here?” he replies and it sounds like the life has been drained out of him.

“Your hot chocolate sir,” the waitress 'accidentally' interrupts setting down a cup in front of Connor, and turning over to his teammate, “Would you like something to eat or drink?”

“The same as him.”

She goes back behind the counter and brings back another cup of hot chocolate.

Turning his attention back to his boyfriend, “To find you, you Dummkopf. It’s late where have you been all night?”

“I wanted to be alone,” he says unveiling his hood, more of his face now illuminated by the flurescent lights, and takes a sip before staring at the rain drops splashing against the window.

“You-“ he pauses to sigh, “you should have told me,” he considers adding the fact he and the other have been worried sick, but now really isn't the time.

“I know, I just- I needed to get out of there.”

Leon brings his arm around Connor’s shoulder and shifts closer to him on the seat, “What’s bothering you?”

“I’m tired. I’m tired of losing. I’m tired of being last in the division and not being anywhere near the playoffs. I- I’m tired of not making a damn difference to this team. I haven’t even fed you a goal in months. I- I-“ he cuts off and loses the rest of his willpower to speak.

“It’s not your fault. And, you do make a difference to this team… and to me.”

“But the fans and management hate us. Saying we should be better, but we’re just fucking trash.”

“Who cares what they think? We’re supposed to be getting new management by next season anyway, and as for fans, I mean every team has _those_ fans- just don’t listen to them- we still have a lot of people who'll support us no matter what.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Connor responds while circling his finger around the rim of his mug, “then why doesn’t it make me feel any better.”

Leon sighs, “Probably because it never feels like it at the time when you’re- you’re- ah scheiß, what’s the English word for it…”

“Depressed?”

“Yeah.”

Leon waves the waitress over and orders an assortment of food which she promptly brings over.

“I don’t want to eat.”

“Connor… you need to eat. You haven’t eaten anything all day,” he reiterates pushing the plate towards him.

“You know I don’t deserve you,” he responds grabbing his fork and starting to eat.

“Of course you do,” Leon retorts before kissing him on the cheek.

“Hey, another thing, at least you didn’t break your leg tonight.”

“What?”

“I cross-checked a guy who was about to shove you into the net. That’s how I got that penalty.”

“I didn’t even realize, thanks.”

They continue their meal in silence with only the rain against the glass and food on the griddles providing noise. When they’re finished and ready to leave Leon goes to the counter to pay but is told “It’s on the house.” By the time they get home it’s now 3AM. Connor goes straight to the couch and lays down.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t deserve to sleep with you yet.”

“Why would- okay,” Leon gives up because he doesn’t want to go through that again and goes to the bedroom on his own.

He undresses himself and sets a silent timer for half an hour and gets into bed browsing his phone. When the timer goes off he lightly steps back into the living room next to Connor who’s already asleep. He gingerly picks him up from the couch and carries him back to the bed, laying him down and dragging the covers over him before climbing into bed beside him and pulling him to himself. Connor suddenly turns around to face towards Leon and rests his head on his chest and wrapping his arms around him.

“Ich liebe dich mein Schatzi.”


End file.
